


Do stars ever taste as bitter as this?

by capturedereannie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Eruhan, F/M, levihan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-03 22:13:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1073662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capturedereannie/pseuds/capturedereannie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanji was invited by Erwin in a drinking party in his house. Then suddenly, Erwin was acting weird and in the end he left Hanji alone. But she met Levi. First, she found him really annoying and rude, but what if an unexpected event happened when they were all alone in a room? Pairing: EruHan and LeviHan. COLLEGE AU!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: EruHan and LeviHan
> 
> School/College:AU
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own SnK.
> 
> Author's note: This is a first person point of view. It took so long for me to finish this story 'cause I really wanted to make this you know, well-written. I was supposed to have it beta but she (the one who's gonna beta this) is kinda busy. But I read it many times to check errors. And lastly, I would like to thank those comments from my previous fic, 'cause it really helped me to improve, a bit at least. lol
> 
> Fanfiction.net https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9906294/1/Do-stars-ever-taste-as-bitter-as-this
> 
> ENJOY!

_Some things are only good at first but eventually you'll realize that it hurts more than anything and in the end, it can only be bitter or sweet - there's no such thing as happy endings_

* * *

"Hanji!" A voice calls out from my back. "Are you free tonight?" Eyebrows. Erwin.

"Why?" I ask. I reach for the door knob, taking my leave since the meeting is finished. "Are you gonna invite me for another card drinking game?" I look back at him, squinting my eyes as if saying,  _you really enjoy that nonsense game, don't you?_

"I'm not that cheap Hanji," he says as he crosses his arms, "you know that." Then he adds as he gives me a smirk, "My mansion is ready for a party tonight. I invited some of my friends here in college and high school friends. If you just want to tag along, you are welcome."

I make a pause, thinking about it. "I'm not doing anything later, particularly." I even flip my notebook on the last page to check some assignments, but nothing really. "Would you mind saving me some wine?" I smile and he smiles back. You know, I hate beer, honestly. But wine calms me up. It is like the smell of the fermented grapes runs through my blood, slowing down its circulation for a while.

"Well then," he reaches and taps my shoulder, "it is settled." I wave for my farewell, walking through the door. "See you at eight!"

* * *

I'm twenty years old, Hanji Zoe. My mother gave the name "Hanji", which means "necessity" in Chinese. What is that suppose to mean actually? It's not that I hate it or not, for me it sounds like a boy's name. So whenever I transfer school I go like this: "I have a boy's name, but I'm actually a girl. Please take care of me!" Just like  _Rin_ from my favorite anime 'Free!' But my character would overlap if I ever did that. (lol) Nevermind.

I open my closet hastily, rummage carelessly until some of my shirts fall above my feet. I spot a black skirt on the left side, so I dig it until I get it. It is perfect. Beside my green loose shirt, there's my white laced sleeveless which I only wear once, back when I was on my first year, first semester of my college. By the way, I'm taking up Bachelor of Science, major in Chemistry. I'm currently on my second year.

When I was first year, I joined a club, named "Survey Club." It's a club where it surveys a lot of things going on outside school. For example, there is a fight between a student from our school and a student from other school. We are in charge of knowing what happened in the scene, send it to the detention, and even in publications to make an article about it and print in college's newspaper. We do reports about students' behavior, basically, how they interact with other students as well.

That is where I met Erwin. We are on the same batch, but of obviously, different course. He's taking up BS Math, computations and so on. He's good at making strategy, in short, he's freaking genius. I can still remember when he first approached me. That was the time applying for Survey club; we were all lined up sitting with a long table for an interview. He was beside me, saying, "You wanna take a shit?" It was ridiculous, really. Just what the hell, I thought. "You're  _really_ sweating. Nervous, aren't yah?" I looked at him with my I-don't-talk-to-strangers face, but then I noticed his eyebrows. Instead of answering his question, I laughed so hard, causing all applicants, even official members to look at me. I felt so dumb; I was humiliated with just a loud crack. And being an official member after a year, Erwin elected to be the president for this school year.

I get out from the house, swiftly grab my flats in front of the door and check my watch. It is seven twenty six. Erwin texted me earlier,  _along for the ride later to the party?_  I replied as soon as I read it.  _Yes_ , I said. Then a reply,  _Wait for me, seven thirty at 7eleven._

It is summer. Warm air breeze blows through my hair, though it burns my skin a little, it calms me either way, just like the wine. I don't want to wait outside so I enter the store, snatching Propel and bring it to the counter. Just before the beep sound from the cashier, I see Erwin waving his big hand behind the glass walls. I take my change, and then I see him entering in a red Jaguar, unfamiliar. I know his car is a silver Mercedes-Benz, right? But this is, maybe new?

"Got a new car?" I ask as I open the passenger seat beside the driver. It is flawless, shining in every angle. Too much sparkling for me to sit; I mean, I grew up not knowing this kind luxury.

"Yeah," he says, buckling his seat belt and I do mine, "dad got new investments." Then he starts his engine.

"Wow," I exhaled in my fascination, "so why don't you just give me your Mercedes. You have your new one. You won't even need that anymore" I look at him then laugh. Kidding.

"You want?" He glances at me. My insides are screaming right now, Oh yes! I want your Mercedes! Tension increases rapidly, I think I'd have a heart attack! I look at him eagerly though he should be looking at the road or else an accident might happen, but I want him to look at me right now, to see how desperate I am.

The street lights flick over his face, revealing his features – his pointed nose, his lips, his cheekbones and his legendary eyebrows. For this moment, he is glittering, sparkling like an angel from heaven, giving me hope. I also notice his handsome yet cool side, this scenery is different from other moments I had with him. Tonight is different.

Then I nod many times, eyes with delight like a puppy and all I have to do is to wait for his response. "No way." He smiles. I didn't know that he's sarcastic, more than I am. And now a big stone falls, burying me alive in the land. He is the worst. I expected that he will say a big: YES, I'M GIVING IT TO YOU. IT'S NOW YOURS. But he didn't. I pout my lips and say nothing, ignoring him. I won't look, no matter how many times you say my name, Hanji, Hanji, Hanji I won't – then suddenly I feel a warm flesh, soft and gentle, touching the back of my hand. Without looking at me, just his eyes set on the road, he smiles and slightly shifts his hand to intertwine his fingers with mine. What's with this sudden improvement?! I want to burst. My heart's going to burst. What the hell's happening with you Erwin? Are you drunk before the party starts?

We get off the car with his arm around my waist. I look at him and I know that I'm blushing. I hope he won't notice, but then I see him take a glance before he let go. Just before he steps on the stairs, he kisses my cheek, fast like a bullet. It makes me blush even more. "I gotta go first, my friends are waiting for me, talk to you later. Bye." Then he disappears, like a bullet too. "Enjoy yourself!"

 _Enjoy yourself_. You asshole. First of all, what's the reason you did even bother yourself to invite me if you would just leave me here alone? After you held my hand and kissed me, the hell, all I want is your car. I don't have that such feeling for you, you know that? But I admit, after he did that, the way I look at him now as he walks through the door of his mansion, is different from before, before this night. Why am I feeling uneasy? I don't freaking understand myself.

* * *

This mansion is Erwin's family's property. "Mom and Dad went on a trip overseas. I don't want to spend my time alone. So let's drink." He told us last two days. It was when he invited me and Mike for a card drinking game. It was just the three of us, playing with cards for the whole night, and whoever lost should drink full glass of wine. In the end, I lost. I suck at games like this. But I stayed conscious and still aware, not yet drunk. For your information, I can finish a whole bottle of wine. Well, obviously, Erwin won most of the games but he was the first one knocked out. He can't handle alcohol, yet he has the most will power to invite for a drink.

There's no party lights like disco, or loud music with bass blaring that can penetrate inside your brain and can blow your ears out. Simple. Formal. Drinking banquet? Erwin-like party. I guess. More like we are in a coffee shop, not so quiet but the murmur and the soft violin on the background fills the air. I see Erwin, sitting on the couch of the living room, together with some high school friends and some friends in college. I stand before the counter, asking for the bartender to give me a glass of wine. As he gives me the wine, I sit on the high chair before the counter and take the glass. I know this man, Mike.

He leans to sniff on my shoulder that gives me goose bumps. "You smell nice tonight Hanji," he said, "something's different." He has this habit of sniffing anywhere, anyone. But even though he has been doing this on me ever since we met, it never fails to surprise me. And he's not a bartender actually, he is our schoolmate slash club-mate.

"Why the hell are you here? Working for Erwin?" I ask, trailing my finger across the glass. "I bet you are broke and need money to date Nanaba." I laugh but he raises an eyebrow at me, looking intently, though this is a joke. "What?" I say.

"You're changing the topic." He concludes. On the table, he rests his elbow and helps himself get his own glass and pours a wine. "Well, you're right. I'm broke, but what's worse is I'm not dating Nanaba." The atmosphere suddenly seems to get heavy, a little. I can feel in his tone the disappointment. He is (up until now) courting Nanaba, for almost two years, three months and fourteen days to be exact, that's what he told me earlier at the meeting. Nanaba is also in the club, a passive girl but you can trust her anytime. She's reliable and definitely too much good girl for Mike. I take a sip of my wine, feeling it down through my esophagus. The best. "So I saw you, before you came here, looking at Erwin. Are you planning to do some pervert stuff with him?"

"What the hell, Mike." I sigh. "Am I that kind of person to you?" I ask, kind of ironic but at the same time, offensive. Then I laugh to make it more less offensive.

He smirks and looks down to his glass. "Of course, I," a pause, eyes on me now, "do." I frown.

"What? Do I look a pervert?"

"Kidding, dude."

Then it becomes silent for a while, but the laughs and tickles of the glass as you lay them on the table, occupy my ears. He sips and studies me for a while. I can feel his eyes tracing every edge of my skin. I look at him with confusion.

"I just notice Hanji," he continues, "you seem different."

"What do you mean?"

"You smell better unlike before, I guess?" Then he is now eyeing Erwin, who's laughing and talking and talking, having fun, holding his glass in his left hand. I don't speak for a moment, waiting for his reason. "Did something happen between you and Erwin?" Then back his eyes at me.

I feel like telling him what happened before we came here. Mike's one of my best friend because I've known him since high school. We went on the same high school and we were classmates. He's even here, same college and same club. To be honest, I feel comfortable telling everything to him, because I trust him. "Mike, what's the meaning if a guy held your hand?"

"So he held your hand." He states, shifting a little on his seat to ease.

"I'm not saying." I defend myself with a power in my tone.

"Well, maybe he has feelings for you, don't you think?" I feel the noise from the people around Erwin rises, getting louder and louder. When I look at him, I remember that scene in his car. Our hands were intertwined, the warmth of his hand transferring into mine. Even though he wasn't looking at me, his smile, especially when it shined through the lights, I know it was sincere. I don't know, but why am I feeling like this towards him? As I watch him talking along with his friends, my gaze locks up on him then just a second, I find him looking at me. He smiles, cool but with a taste of arrogant but then I smile back. Mike notices our exchange and I hear him whisper, "so, that's how it is."

I pretend that I didn't hear him and ask him again as I bring my gaze back at him. "What if he kissed you?". I can't help but smile. I am now obviously blushing right now, there's no way Mike won't notice.

"He wants you," he said, "got it?" He's looking at me, on my cheeks. I'm burning right now, not because of wine but because I know what Mike is trying to say. Thinking about having relationship with Erwin makes me blush. Though this is not that way I look at him for two years we've been together. Actually, I feel so gross thinking about: Him. And me. Going out? Just no.

Erwin's a kind of guy who you can't fool with. He's always serious at everything, where you could actually imagine dating him, having an organize schedule written on a piece of paper – kind of guy who plans everything. All I know every time I see him is he knows where he is going, never got lost and he'll never get lost.

Mike's back to business, cleaning up glasses, organizing wines and giving drinks, but I'm still here, sitting before the counter. I demand for another glass, and he serves me with delight, seems a true bartender. On the right corner of my sight, it catches a man takes a sit beside me. I study him for a second, avoiding an eye contact to not to seem interested in him. He asks for a red wine. When he is reaching for the glass, the length of his arm kicks my attention. Not that he has long limbs, but the opposite. Honestly, it is short; I think mine's longer though. Also, he has small body build. I'm taller than this guy. But eye contact is inevitable, not to mention I stare too much.

"What?" He asks with an annoyance. Those eyes are glaring at me, kind of scary, I mean really scary. But frankly speaking, his eyes are lame. Wait, I know. He looks like a crab.

"Ah, nothing." I force a smile, but I'm scared! I take a big gulp of wine, come on, calm me down.

"Tch." What the hell is wrong with your attitude? Don't you know to respect?

I'm pissed off right now but I don't know, this man's pretty interesting. First of all, his height – approximately 160cm, then his eyes – seem like there's a big rock stuck on his eyelids, and lastly his attitude – I bet he failed all values related subjects in grade school.

"What the hell is wrong with his attitude? Such a rude guy." I whisper. Unfortunately he overheard me. Bang! Awkwardness comes in, though it is not welcome. I hate this kind of atmosphere – this dead silence, where you want to kill it – double kill, for real. I gotta do something. "I'm sorry to disturb you but," I wait for him to look at me, "I'm Hanji." I hold out my hand, obviously waiting for a hand shake. Actually, I don't know why I did this. My body and my mouth, suddenly work without my brain's permission. What I know now is that my hand is waiting for him, and I'm nervous.

No one speaks, but my hand is still on air. Take it, asshole! But you know what? He just studies me from head to toe and takes a sip of his wine, then says, "So you are Hanji." Eh?

"Don't be rough on her, Levi. She's a girl" Mike says, wiping his wet hands on a piece of cloth near lavatory. The man's now eyeing me again but he stops on my chest.

"This? A girl?" He stares at my chest. What? That's sexual harassment! Don't look, you crabby! "I never thought Hanji's a girl."

"You really do have no respect, don't you?" I say this smiling, pretty sarcastic. "I'm here you know, don't talk about me, as if I'm not here."

Mike notices the sudden change in my tone. He knows me well; he can even dig into the deepest emotion of my voice. "Easy, Hanji."

"Mike, you know this guy?" I pointed him. I don't even care if it's rude to point a person but, pointing a rude person, I think it is accepted.

"Yah. Same college." He starts wiping newly cleaned wine glasses, one by one, piling it horizontally on the counter.

I look again at the man called Levi and then I say, "I don't remember his face."

"Our college is big," wiping another, another and continues, "meeting him would be like finding your lost earring on a desert." I sigh, then Levi shots me a look. "And besides, you'll be meeting him in the future."

"What?" I take the last gulp of my wine then push it towards Mike, calling for more wine.

He helplessly examines my expression before he gives me more wine. "Erwin recruited him." Then he looks at Levi, who is now also questing for another shot.

"Could you please," I curl my eyebrows, forming wrinkles in my forehead, "repeat it again." I put both hands in the air, palms facing him. "One more time, I think I heard it wrong."

"Erwin recruited him, I said"  _What?_

"Wait, why didn't I know this issue?" I'm currently losing myself over the wine. But it is just my third glass. "I mean this man," again, pointing at him, "who's roughly about 160 centimeters and has really rude attitude, joining our club? Are you talking trash to me?"

"Hey, who do you think is being rude in here, shitty glasses?" Levi butts in.

"Who told you to speak?" I glare at him, to Mike I say, "This man pisses me off, right after he sat in here. Then you're telling me that he'll be joining our club? Hell no. I won't let him in on our club."

"I doubt Erwin will agree on that." Even though I'm raising my voice, he stays calm. That's Mike. "In fact, he'll be a big help in the club, said Erwin. And I know that."

"Are you sure?" I decrease my voice a little. But then Erwin won't even notice us, busy boasting about all his wealth.

"You know," I hear Levi says, "if you don't like me, just tell to your president with his eyebrows as thick as ass to kick me out, though I'm not yet an official member."

I don't say any word, not that I'm speechless but I can't speak. I don't have the right to contradict Erwin's decision, especially if it's about the club. He is absolute, everyone must follow him. In doubt and in assurance, whenever problems show up, just follow his orders.

Silence. That's what I want right now. I just want to enjoy this party, but how? This guy pissed me off. And he's still here, currently pissing me off, for god's sake.  _Why don't you leave?_  I say to myself, gladly not saying it aloud. Then he stands, pulling himself from the chair. Mike, who's back facing us, is still wiping glasses, takes a glance at him. He asks, "Where are you going Levi?"

"Upstairs," he says as he motions his hand, pointing up the ceiling "gonna go take a nap." Then he disappears.

* * *

"Mike," I hand out my glass again, for the fourth time, "how much do you know that guy?"

He reaches for the wine; I notice it is different from what I drank earlier. He cocks his head, asking if that is okay. The bottle says "Champagne Brut, Belle Epoque, Perrier-Jouët". Champagne – a sparkling wine. "Wines of this period were bottled while still fermenting; the cork stopper forced the carbon dioxide produced by fermentation back into the wine, creating an effervescent liquid tasted, as Dom Pérignon said _, like stars._ " That's what I read about champagne from Grolier Encyclopedia of Knowledge. And of course, as chemistry major, I like discovering things about everything, substances and origin and anything about chemistry.

I nod and then he pours to my glass that champagne. I take a sip, feeling its bubble inside my mouth and indeed, like stars. But this bubble feeling also takes down to my stomach, feeling too much bubble that I want to vomit. My tummy must be surprised as I drink the champagne straight. I cover my mouth and let a weird sound – sound of a person who almost gonna throw up. Mike look at me, puzzled. I can't speak, once I open my mouth, I'll throw up. I do what Levi did, pointing up that means going upstairs. As soon as I see him understand what I am trying to say, I run fast towards upstairs. I skip one step of the stairs to make it faster. All rooms on the 2nd floor of Erwin's mansion are for guests. The first room, the nearest to the stairs, is unlock. Got it. I quickly twist the door knob and sprint to the comfort room, opening the door rashly. But I see a man, sitting on the king's crown of glory, humming peacefully, obviously, taking a shit. Wrong room! His eyes widen. He manages not to freak out that much. But I do not. I almost lost my senses right after I realized that this man is Levi. What the heck! I can't take it any longer. I want to change the room and run right away. But I can't. I'm gonna throw up.

"Get ou—" I throw up, right beside him. His foot buried under my puke. Totally gross. He jumps out of the toilet and rushes to the shower. I see ass. Yes, I saw it. He chooses to cover what's in front. "YOU'RE GROSS. GET OUT. RIGHT NOW." He is mad. Of course, who wouldn't be, after throwing up at your feet.

"Excuse me?" I say and raise an eyebrow, sarcastic. "You didn't lock the door!" We are now arguing on the room beside the bed.

"Yes, and the door was also open for you to get out." He defends, pissed off.

"If I could just hold myself much longer, I would." I utter, slicing the air with my hand for explanation. "And you said you're just gonna take a nap to Mike, right? It's not my fault, and it's not yours either. Got it? Now, settled, I go now, bye."

I draw near the door to leave but I feel him grab my wrist. "What now?" I ask, annoyed. He doesn't say anything but he pulls me to him, shifts a turn and pushes me to the bed. "What the hell do you want?" I am now lying on bed, but when I try to get up, he pushes me again and corners me in between his arms.

"Pay me." He says.

 _Pay me_. Are you kidding me? What does he want from me? He stays silent. Looking at me, eye to eye. I feel a sudden gaucheness pinch my skin. It hurts, but it is maybe the reason why I'm feeling uneasy right now. My heart aches and at the same time it is new. It's like spring has come where flowers are blooming in every wither branch made by autumn and winter, along with my feet lifting from the ground as if I am flying. I close my eyes. For a moment, the concern I have right now in my head about Erwin fades. I can feel his warm breath as it gets nearer and nearer to my face, leaving millimeters between us. Though it is not yet touching mine, as if it is; because of the softness and warmth of air that comes from his mouth. And just then, I know where it leads–

"Wait," he stops, all of a sudden, "did you brush your teeth?" Unanticipated. Unforeseen. Unexpected. W. H. A. T. No words come from my mouth. Nothing. Totally speechless. I was wrong. I didn't see it coming, like sewing to fix your shirt then suddenly the needle pierced into your skin, penetrated deep down in your flesh. The feeling of hurt and surprise attack in unison.

"A- ahaha!" I cracked. The ugliest and most awkward laugh I've ever made in my entire life. Along with a release of my closed fist, I (unintentionally) punch him – hard and straight into his face. "Sorry. My hand slipped!" I manage to reason out myself in high pitched voice, hitting the highest note in Beyonce's If I were a boy.

I try to fix my face, not to show my I-want-to-cry-face but apparently not annoyed or poker face. I push him to get him off out of me and jump out of the bed. I don't look back, straight to the door, open, exit, close, bye. I cover my mouth, restraining myself not to burst into anger with annoyance with disappointment with embarrassment and all. I was so dumb, I realize. I dash to the next room to calm myself. This time, I make sure that no one's here before I break down. My knees are shaking and I let it fall to the ground. My tears fall as well, in rhythm with my knees. I don't know why I am crying. I know that in this case, instead of being weak, I'll try my best to be strong, move on and try to blame everything on the other side. But why can't I? I don't even understand what these tears are. Anger? Irritation? Frustration? Then I realize that I'm not yet as strong as I think of myself. I still have this heart of a maiden, getting confused when her heart gets excited, but eventually, breaks and falls apart.

_Do stars ever taste as bitter as this?_

* * *

Thank you for reading! This is a one-shot, but I'm currently writing for an extra story.

Let me know what you think about this story by dropping a review! Thank you!


	2. Extra Chapter: Does everything really happen for a reason?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hey guys! Here's the extra chapter, the part 1 of the extra chapter. Because it's so freaking long so I decided to split it into two parts...

Part 1

* * *

I wake up in cloud nine. I feel so dizzy. Last night was a total disaster, for real. Imagine, something was wrong with Erwin, then I met this guy named Levi and suddenly, everything changed. Therefore I declare, it is my Worst Night Ever.

I'm facing two problems right now. First is I am going to be late. Yes for sure, but I'm still on my bed, burying my face into my comfy pillow under my sheets. I glance on my alarm clock above my little wooden cabinet beside my bed, it says nine twenty four. I should be at school at nine thirty, so I still have six minutes to prepare. Impossible. How the hell can you take a bath, change clothes, brush hair, fix face, in six minutes? That's clearly impossible. You probably can make it ten minutes late, as long as you won't take a bath. Because you also have to consider the travel. But since I'm in a dorm, I think, it would take five to seven minutes to be in the classroom. The building of the College of Science is pretty far anyway.

I blink and shift myself a little, facing the window; sunlight harshly hit right through my head. Ouch. I waggle my legs to throw away the sheets from me and hustle out of the bed. Nine twenty five. Crap. Okay, forget the bath. I run towards the kitchen for refrigerator and grab the sandwich I prepared last night before the party. My closet is ruined, I think before opening it with sandwich hanging on my mouth. Yes it is, clothes are supposed to be piled in array but it was devastated by my hands last night. I sigh. But I have no choice but to dive my arms into it and pull whatever will be my outfit for the day - lucky pick. I get a pastel blue Converse shirt with a simple black Chuck Taylor design on front. I always love this shirt because of the design printed on the upper back, a little star.

_Second problem: How to face Erwin after what happened?_

* * *

Dom Pérignon said, like  _stars_. But it wasn't like stars after all. As I said, it was a total disaster. After I left Levi and went to the other room, I cried. As a result, my eyes were swollen. I couldn't fix my swollen red eyes as I was looking at my reflection in the mirror. I stayed for like, half an hour before going downstairs, where I saw Mike, who was sitting before the counter. He was serving no one as people decreased and about half went home. I walked towards Mike and sat beside him.

The bafflement in his face was saying that he noticed me that I cried. He asked me why but I didn't tell him the real reason, instead I asked something about Levi's introversion and imprudence.

"I don't even understand that guy but, he's really good. What I certainly know about him is, he does everything for a reason." He said as helped himself get a water. "He's really rude and a clean freak but, don't worry Hanji," he tapped my shoulders and offered me water with his glass but I refused, "he's amazing."

Honestly, I didn't get what he really meant with that amazing thing. I just nodded and felt like going home after what had happened.

Erwin, on the other hand, was now talking with guy whose hair is light brown and has normal body proportion. To stare was the only thing I could do because I was really bored and the aftershock of what Levi did still pulling my chest out. Suddenly he was gone for a second then after I snapped, I found him right before me. He introduced that guy named Moblit, pretty good looking man up close. Before Erwin started again his ceremony in his parties - long speeches about his life and his luxury. I stood up as I said, "I think I'll be going home then."

It wasn't like I wasn't really expecting Erwin to stop me, but the way he did was rather really unexpected. As my arms were swinging as I walked, he caught one wrist and pulled me against him. The distance between us could be measured by millimeters, our foreheads were about to collide and our eyes connecting our presence as though as we'd been tied. I shrieked before he finally closed me into his arms. Just then, I could feel his chest touching mine as the lingering smell of the alcohol in his breath, gave my chills after he spoke.

"What happened?" He asked me, whispering to my sensitive ears. I wasn't good at hiding what I feel after all.

I couldn't tell him, maybe because it was about him and the other guy after all. And I thought that I should be the one asking that question to him,  _what had happened with you that caused you to act like that? It wasn't like you, Erwin. It really creeped me out._ But I didn't say it, instead I say "Nothing." I pushed him out of me and sprinted to the door.

Finally, that night was over. Good Lord I could finally sleep after such disaster. I plunged myself on the bed and stared blankly for a while at the window. It was dark and seemed quiet but this was actually my favorite. Where everything became peaceful and silent, where all you could hear was the sound of the insects, chirping like a bird in the dark. For a moment, I wondered,  _does everything really happen for a reason?_  I got up and pushed myself, leaving my sheets crumpled as I drew near to the mirror to study my own reflection. It changed, but with the same features of my face and body, I knew it. Mike was right, something had changed. But I myself did not know what really had changed.

* * *

It is really rare for me to take a deep breath before entering the clubroom. While holding the doorknob, I say to myself,  _keep calm, keep it as usual_. I decided to drop by at the clubroom at five after class and now here I am, thinking about the decision I made might be wrong. But this is my club right? I belong into this club right? I have been coming in and out of this door thousand times so why would I hesitate to come in? Oh no.

After a minute, I finally calm myself over frustration of entering the clubroom. The moment I move my wrist to twist the doorknob, it is lighter than usual. It is like someone from the other side twisting it too to open. I am right, I'm so freaking genius. But as I look who's the person on the other side, raising my hand, ready to greet for thinking maybe it is Petra or Nanaba, I become stupid. I am not genius after all. The person on the other is Levi and I didn't premonish myself of this worst scenario. Stupid woman.


	3. Extra Chapter: Does everything really happen for a reason?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey guys! here's the part two of the extra chapter. i wanted to add more, to make the story you know, really good but it would be sooo long so I kinda rushed the ending? But it's still okay! Enjoy reading!

The way you can describe my expression is rather discomposed than shocked. His face is also the same that night when I met him, but more annoyed. I try to keep calm, which I manage to keep my face compose after a few seconds. "Yo!" I wave my hand, just like the way I always greet my club-mates.

It makes him to curl his eyebrows even more, obviously pissed. I force a smile but I get a click of his tongue in return. I say to myself that I need to get used to his attitude. So instead of bursting into rant, I just ignore him.

"Mike!" I call out as I pass Levi, leaving him disappointed. Well, I don't care. If you don't like me, I won't push myself for you to like me. "How's the report?"

Mike's currently working on a circle table meant for coffee as he moves his eyes to see me. "Currently workin' on it," he says as he flips the pen using two fingers.

I move closer and pull a chair beside him. "Let me see it," I lean and grab it. He stares at me for a while, and I know what he'll do next. Sniff. Well I'm right, he does. Before he can say anything, I say first, "I've changed my perfume." He suddenly become puzzled then I add, "You said something has changed right? So I did change my perfume too. Like it? It's a kind of floral musk, though it's a bit strong."

"Indeed," he concludes. "Is it because of Levi?"

"What?" My eyes widen in surprise. "The perfume? Hell no."

"No," then a pause, "your face." He stands and walks toward the counter to prepare coffee. I can see him holding the container of hot water then he pops his head and asks, "You want?"

I shake my head. "Hmm-mm," I say, "thank you." Then remembering from what he said, I utter, "What do you mean by my face?" He says nothing but I'm waiting for an answer as I hear him pouring hot water in the cup. "By the way, why was that shorty in here? And how come you're the only one here? Where's everyone? Where's Erwin?"

He grabs a spoon in the corner where utensils are and says, "I told you, right? That you'll be meeting him soon, and that soon is basically right now."

"Not expecting your 'soon' is as soon as this, though"

The aroma of the coffee passes through my nose as Mike approaches me and takes a sit. "Erwin told him to come today and to meet me, and he asked me to brief Levi about the rules. While he went to the College of Engineering with the Uluo, Petra, Eld, Gunther and Nanaba 'cause he received a call an hour ago that something happened there."

"Oh I see," I say with a nod as he eases himself on his chair and rests his coffee on the table. "So, where did he go?"

"Who?" Then a sip. "Levi?"

"Yeah," I reach for the paper, the reports that Mike's doing, "I just saw him."

"He went to 7eleven," he snatches the paper from me, "he said he'll buy Mogumogu, y'know that thing, that has something soft as you drink." I nod and lean a little watching him writing and editing the article. Mike's our precious copy reader, his eyes are as sharp as his nose.

Ten minutes later Levi enters the scene, seeing me eyes-closed leaning my head on Mike's shoulder. I don't move and just open my eyes. He seems kind of surprise as his lame eyes squint from what he saw. For me, there's nothing malicious about this. I've known Mike for a very long time, and just this simple body contact with him is nothing. And it is okay for me to cling to him like this except, if Nanaba's here, definitely a no-no.

He walks straight and sits next to Mike with his one leg resting on the other. In his hand, I see a peach flavor Mogumogu. So he likes this kind of thing, I say in my mind, it doesn't fit in his character.

Once again I close my eyes and say with a sigh, "I'm freaking sleepy, crap. I wanna go home." I shift a little to lean more on him. "They are taking so long," then I get up from Mike and rest my elbows on the table. I can see Levi looking in my way so I quite stumble and ask him, "So, I would like to know more about you Levi." I'm being a good girl, yes. But I just don't want him to hate me that much and since from now on, he'll be my club-mate, I should establish good relationship with him.

He then, stares at me for a while, maybe struggling about if he's gonna answer me or not. But then, Mike pulls himself out of the chair. "Excuse me," he says then Levi's gaze follows him.

"Where are you going?" I ask him.

"Gonna follow Erwin."

"I'll go with you," I suggest and push myself a little.

"No, I'm fine with myself. You stay with Levi." He says and I hear his steps decreasing until disappears and gone.

That Mike left me with this crab, this sure is hell. Inhale, I take a deep deep inhale then exhale, and it keeps echoing in the room.

The second problem about the awkwardness between me and Erwin that I thought it was already solved 'cause he isn't here, but it wasn't. There's a follow up question that what if I met Levi, how would I going to approach him. But I already talked to him, didn't I? It wasn't hard than I thought, but maybe because Mike was here with us earlier. And now he's gone. He left me. This directs to the third problem: How the hell am I going to start a conversation with this crab?

I hear him sip from his Mogumogu then crunch, bite and bite. It keeps banging in my both ears in rhythm,  _sup-paku-paku_ , one of the possible causes of annoyance. In the noiseless room with the clock ticking, beating every second, sup-paku-paku increases. I silently click my tongue in annoyance that he happens to hear me. We both look at each other as I feel him raising his eyebrow bit by bit.

"Is that," then I pout to point at his Mogumogu and pause to think of the right word, "yummy?"  _Yummy_. What the heck Hanji, you seriously needed to think about that word?

Miraculously he nods at me, what a relief. I managed to ask a little question. Then how about this, "Can I taste it?" Ow shit. I remember he has a freaking cleanliness disorder. So I have to take it back, "Kidding!" Then I laugh to cover up.

He just stares at me for a while as I wait him respond in my joke. "You're awfully nervous," then he takes a sigh and adds, "I bet what happened with us last night keeps bothering you, am I right?"

Bullseye. I want to say that, yeah it bothers me a lot, but instead I say, "No way!" Then I laugh. Here I go again, concealing everything through laugh. "That kind of stuff didn't bother me, at all."

"Well, good to hear then."

Good to hear, you freak asshole. I want to punch to you, right now. I want to put my hands around your neck to suffocate you until you beg for me to stop. Asshole. "So, did Mike already tell you about the rules?"

"Yeah but halfway through it. Not yet done, he said." He runs a hand through his pocket and takes out a piece of paper folded in four parts. "This," he says as he shows what's inside.

"Ah, the contract and the rules," I notice because it was the same thing that I signed when I was applying for this club.

"Yes. We're on number 7 though," he states then turns his eye on me.

"What?" I ask. He don't say anything but he pouts his lip. "You want me to explain the rest to you?"

He nods, which I am surprised. The contents written in here are self-explanatory - no need to discuss, just read it.

"Okay," then I sigh. What a kid. "Number 8. There is a compulsory collection of 1,000¥ each member for fund."

"1,000¥, that's pretty expensive," he says, "don't you think?"

"Beats me," then I look at him but his expression stays the same. "Next, number 9. Food and drinks are prohibited during meeting."

"Really."

"Yes, so go finish your drink now. We're in a meeting you know."

"This is a meeting?"

"Yeah," I say, "between us."

He says nothing and drinks the rest of his Mogumogu. Then suddenly he says, "You know, I wasn't drunk."

"Huh?" I am confused, really, but I know what he's talking about. And I choose to play dumb about it and ask, "What do you mean?"

"Last night," he utters. "I seriously meant to kiss you."

"Wait, what. Are you drunk?"

"Don't get the wrong idea, it wasn't like I am attracted to you or what."

"What the hell?" I am freaking frustrated, just why did he suddenly bring that topic. "Ah I know," I stand and approach the counter, "you need coffee."

But he grabs my wrist to stop me, "I don't need coffee." He pulls my hand a little, "I'm wide awake and aware of what I'm saying."

"Come on Levi," I say and face him, "it didn't bother me. At all. Really." I know he's serious, it's all written in his face. "Levi, let's forget about this okay?"

But he doesn't understand. He pushes me against the wall and starts kissing me. This time, no more questions about toothbrush, just fast sweet kiss.

"Stop," I say, then a kiss. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Stay still." He doesn't stop. He continues to kiss me, and it gets deeper and deeper until we've heard a slam from the door.  _Crap_. Behind Levi in my sight, I see Erwin looking at us.

"Excuse me," he says then averts his gaze from us. "I remember from number 10, Private Display of Affection or PDA is highly not allowed."  _Shit_.

So in the end, everything fell apart. Erwin stopped doing sweet things to me and started being cold towards me. Levi, on the other hand, it's so awkward between us. Especially now, I know what's the real reason he acted like that. It was for revenge, to Erwin. Mike told me that before, Erwin stole the person that Levi liked. Though Levi and the girl didn't get into a deep relationship, but it was all ruined when Erwin suddenly entered the scene.

Screw them, screw all guys in this planet. I freaking hate all of you. I'll just go fly to the universe and live with the stars. I might find Dom Pérignon and ask for champagne to forget all these starry bitter fantasies happened in my life.

* * *

**Mogumogu - google it. Haha

Sad to say, it's finished! Awww. please drop a review! Thank you guys for reading!


End file.
